She wants you to love him, to be his wife and partner in all things. It will break your heart when he dies, but the happiness you will have beforehand is important to Mother." But what about P'sero?" I asked. I could not refuse Her task, and my heart had leaped at the thought of it. But P'sero had been the love of my life."P'sero wanted you to be happy, didn't he?" I nodded. "And though he died almost 2,000 years ago, he still lives in your heart, doesn't he?" Again I nodded. "Be with your young man, Kalliste," She said. "Be happy. P'sero lives on through you, and he always will. The love you share now will not diminish your love for P'sero. And your happiness is important. She, I, we all want you to be happy."It was not an easy charge. For the first time in my life I turned away from Her. Grief wracked me, grief suppressed these many years, but still deep and abiding for all of that. I cried out my loneliness and heartache. In that moment P'sero was truly gone. She gathered me in. Once or twice I heard Crystalcursing the stove and remembered that the new stove was in the bed of mytruck. I looked at my little hands and feet, and figured it was going to staythere for the time being.I did feel a little embarrassed at having to sit on a phone book for dinner.After we ate, Crystal said that she needed to get something at the store. Itold her that she just go and leave me here. She pointed out that if anyonefound me here alone, she could get in trouble and I might end up with childwelfare. I shuttered, that would be disastrous so reluctantly, I let hercarry me to the car since I didn't have any shoes.When we got to the store, she carried me to a shopping cart and put me in theseat. I thought I was going to die of shame. Imagine me being put in achild's seat in a shopping cart by my own girlfriend. As I sat there in thecart, I looked down and could see the crease in the crotch of my bathingsuit.I tried to close my legs but the bars wouldn't let me. I tried to get out.
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